Introduction: Welcome to the 2008 daytime workin’ alley cat challenge:
Read all the rules before you start. Certain challenges can only be completed during certain parts of the day. Remember to keep an eye on your due times... Cheating is always encouraged since it will only hurt your chances of winning. No aspect of this race is mandatory. Do as much as you want. You can win the event without completing even a portion of the challenges. Have fun, keep the rubber side down.
1. Style. All the greats have it. Merckx. Pantani. Cipollini. You. You ride your bike all fucking day. Most people have to join gyms to look this good naked. FLAUNT IT BABY! You can get away with wearing day-glow electric blue lycra skin suit covered in brown tiger stripes... So are you wearing it?
IF YOU ARE WEARING (LYCRA/BIKE GEAR): Shorts = 10 pts Jersey = 10pts Arm/Leg Warmers, Socks, Gloves, Cap, Shoes, Skull Cap, etc... 5pts each Is it any color other than black? That's worth double points Did you shave your legs? That another 10 points
2. Writing Implement. It's time to start your day. Dispatch is paging you a rack of work and you need to jot it all down on your manifest to get it straight in your head. You reach for your pen. Hm. Not there. Better go to your next pick and try to "borrow" one from the receptionist. She offers you a fine sparkly chunk of metal writing tool engraved with the corporate logo. She answers the phone. Might as well catch the elevator when she's busy.
Pens with a client's corporate logo are worth 10 points each. The nicer the pen, the nicer the points.
3. Crosswords. After a mad dash of scheduled runs there doesn't seem to be anything to do. Your leg is shaking from your sixth cup of coffee and not a single run in the last hour. Better kill some time by doing the crossword puzzle.
To qualify for points the puzzle must be completed & attached to the rest of the page, w/today's date
The New York Times = 15pts Others = 5pts
It's another 5pts if 2 or more are done.
4. Flat Tire. It's 10am and your day is just starting to pick up. A rush here, a round trip there. Dispatches drops a downtown multiple on you. Great! Money! (Sort Of)! You hop on your bike PFFFFF! Flat on yr front. That money is getting cold, gotta fix this flat, and quick! (see Martin at Jet fuel between 1615 and 1715)
Time Trial Event - we clock your time, points are awarded for the fastest times:
1st = 35pts 4th = 20pts 7th = 5pts 2nd = 30pts 5th = 15pts 8th + up = 1pt 3rd = 25pts 6th = 10pts
It'll cost you 5 pts to use our tools, tubes, or patch kits (as available)
5. Kickin' It with the Client. You got that flat fixed, had your victory celebration and now your ready to get things movin' on the road. Your next job is at the office with the cute receptionist (mailroom clerk, secretary, etc...). You've been kicking your game for months and they've bought it. Maybe you should ask them out for a drink? Maybe you can ask them for their underpants?
Every piece of undergarment from a receptionist is worth 35pts. You'll need his/her phone number too, so we can call and confirm that you didn't get anything from your girlfriend, boyfriend, mom, dad, or closet. It'll be your job to return it to, so that phone number will be helpful for your game.
If he/she shows up at 165 Bathurst to pick them up at the end of the race (between 1730 and 1800) that's worth double points.
6. Kitty Kat. All this working and fixing and flirting is making you hungry. You want to eat lunch so bad, but your dispatcher is being a jerk and sending you all over creation. Better finish these last few up real quick so you can get to eating something. All food receipts are worth 2 points. You can have them back after they are counted.
7. Stupid Bonus Points. These can be completed anytime of the day A> What colour is the stage acces door at 909 Lakeshore The Molson amphitheater?
B> Show Off When you pass me or Mark H during the day. (5pts)
C> Get me stoned (5pts)
8. Beer Drinking. You day is winding to a close, it's August, so by now it's probably raining. A flat tire, a jerky dispatcher, shitty tags mean one thing: it's time for a motherfuckin' beer. (Bathurst 165 Between 1730 and 1830)
We buy your first round, after that your on your own. 5pts a beer. Remember to show us how many you drink, so we can keep count of your points.
9. Draw A Picture that demonstrates how cool you are (5pts).
10.The caring sharing points: At Bathurst 165 you can bring food for the food bank - They want:
-pasta and rice
-canned meats and fish
-dry and canned soup and stew
-canned/ powdered milk
-beans and legumes
-infant formula and baby food
Any item is worth 20 points.
All manifests are due at Bathurst 165, app 201 buzz 0420 at 1730. Prizes at 1900.Winner takes most cash prize. Some may win other fabulatory even if they do not win. Others will receive nothing but fond memories for years to come.
Thanks to Joshua Whitesnake NYC.
10 people paid the 5 $ entry.
There were 4 pairs of underwear and 2 owners braved it to come and pick them up. However the area where the top 2 pulled away even though bobby had 2 thongs was in the pens and the food. Good strategies by all - special mention to Bennet who brought a Bolo like instrument and played it while riding with me to the park to get me stoned - best joint of the day..
The pic is the food we got together for the food bank. Im on my way to get it off..
Thanks to all for competing and having fun and not wrecking my house at the party that grinded to a halt at 3am.. ZZZzzzz